Monday Freakshow

It's a busy day on Match.com ... here are a few highlights:

First we have "B" 44 whose email started off with "Howdy" ... who says "Howdy"?????? I looked at his profile, and learned that almost all of his favorite things are meats, and he's into PDAs ... I'm a vegan and only think PDAs are cute when the couples are 16 or 86 ... he also requested not to be contacted by anyone in rehab or on parole ... interesting. So in answer to "B"s question "How was your weekend?" I replied "It was nice, I had a lovely visit with my parole officer." Wonder if he'll get the joke?

I got kind of an odd message from "M" 48 ... he'd written before and seems like a nice enough person, but I just don't find him attractive at all (I know, mean, but I can't help it!). His last email wasn't worth responding to, so I didn't ... and today I get this: "Last call ...drink'em up" What does that even mean??????

Next we have "D" 38. He winked at me, I read his profile and he seemed normal enough, so I winked back ... and he quickly responded with this little grammatical nightmare "hey there! how are you? hows is match treating you?" His profile page lists his job as "Starting over." Hopefully he's not starting over as an English teacher.

Finally, "J" 46 sent me an email titled "The Sound of One Hand Clapping" ... his message included this: "Is there a place in Middletown to do your Latin Freestyle dancing?" Ack, unpleasant flashbacks to my eHarmony date that wanted a woman to swing dance with. Sorry "J", clapping isn't the only thing that your one hand will be doing tonight!