Welcome!

My name is Lucy Love (well, not really, but you should call me that) and I've decided that the time has come for me to find myself a Good Man. Doesn't sound too difficult, right? Men are everywhere, just look around you ... the grocery stores, the bars, the laundry mats, the adult ed classes, hiking, biking, match.com ... man after amazing man, just there for my taking.

Well bitches, think again ... you see, I'm 40 years old. That's 5 years over the age at which women become invisible to men, and studies say I'll have a better chance at getting struck by lightening than finding a husband. Not very encouraging words ... but although I've been called many, MANY things, I've never been called a quitter ... so here I go!

I guess I should start by telling you what I'm looking for in a Good Man (hey, you might know someone, right?).

First and foremost, he needs to be single. I'm sick and tired of hearing, "I'd love to take you to dinner sometime ... how about a great little place I know of that's just a few hundred miles south of here." Wow, what better way to make a girl feel special! And if he tells me "She's not my girlfriend." I certainly won't believe it.

I'm also not a fan of baggage. I've never wanted to have kids of my own, so I REALLY don't want  to hang out with someone else's. My idea of a fun night out with my Good Man doesn't include Chucky Cheese and a G-rated movie, and my dream vacation is not hopping in the minivan and heading down to 6 Flags (did I mention I won't ride in a minivan?).

I've also decided that my Good Man needs to be at least as old as I am. Let's face facts here, Cougar Town or not, men want their girlfriends to be younger than they are. I'm thinking the 40-48 range ... I don't want to have to deal with Depends and Polydent just yet, my time will come soon enough.

My Good Man also needs to be tall. Aside from the obvious Napoleon complex issues that most short men have, I'm a tall girl and I like my high heels. I don't want him to have to stand up on a crate so we look good in photos ... have you forgotten Tom and Katie's wedding? Ridiculous.

I'd also like my Good Man to be somewhat physically fit. When it's time for the sex (I know, I'm being very optimistic here) I don't want to see a naked fleshy blob jiggling toward me. It's so not hot, and I refuse the pretend that I think it is just for the sake of gettin' a little. Speaking of little, that's an issue we'll save for another time.

My Good Man should not be a cheap-ass. I refuse to shop (or even drive by, if I can help it) anywhere with "mart", "chopper", "rite" or "price" over the door, and I don't intend to start now. I remember the story of a family friend whose husband used to stand in the produce area of the grocery store  and pick the stems off the cherries so he didn't have to pay for them ... can you imagine?

I'm also not a fan of pets (especially dogs), sports, drinkers, smokers, slobs and lots (and LOTS) of other things that I'm sure we'll discover as I move along this path.

I'm glad you've decided to join me ... I have a funny feeling that I'll need all the support I can get!